Low Self-Esteem Crisis in Friendships and Family

la crisis de baja autoestima la crisi di bassa autoestima the crisis of low self-esteem the crisis of low self-esteem

Unfortunately, society is facing a crisis of low self-esteem in friendships and family like never before. It’s a social problem reflected in many areas, from being a high-performing individual to achieving clear goals and objectives in life.

Your parents feel comfortable seeing you under their wings

In this crisis of low self-esteem within the family and friendships, we can notice it in what might be the core of today’s society, which is the family. Parents have low self-esteem, so they are constantly afraid for their children. On the other hand, they unconsciously always think that it’s best for their children not to be better than them. It’s like an absorbing status quo. The idea is to keep everything moderately the same. This didn’t happen before. We came from generations that went through wars and the first thing they wanted was for their children to be strong and achieve feats that perhaps they could never reach.

It’s the cycle of self-esteem. It somewhat reminds me of the great saying:

Good times create weak people, and weak people create bad times. Bad times create strong people, and strong people create good times.

The crisis of low self-esteem in friendships

Friendships are not an exception to maintaining the order of pre-established things. While men, for example, don’t have as much envy or resentment if our friends are doing well, it’s always best to see our friends at a similar level to ours for fear of losing them.

In the case of female friends, it’s much more complicated. It’s most likely that the friend in the best condition will be sabotaged. If she’s slim and looks good, the goal is to make her gain some weight or even lose more weight. If she has a partner, the aim is to make her leave her partner by giving destructive advice or creating conflicts at the right time. And if she has a good job, suggesting activities or ideas that lead her to take a leap into the void. This will create a vicious circle that will make that friend more dependent on that circle of friendship. It’s more or less a way to keep her in the club and not lose her.

The ideal and natural scenario is for friendships to grow alongside us, if possible, with our support. Otherwise, it is crucial to seek new friendships with people who are better off than us or at least on the same path and/or level.

Crisis in the relationship

In a relationship, the phenomenon is a bit more complicated, since the idea is for one person to progress along with the other. The goal is teamwork. There may or may not be ego battles over who earns more or helps more. It would be natural. But ultimately, what matters is that one or both grow, reflected in the couple’s achievements. At least in general terms, as sometimes individualism or egocentrism may arise, not focusing on supporting and working for a common good.

This happens because one of the two simply focuses on their own well-being, using the partner’s help as much as possible without giving anything in return. It generally stems from low self-esteem, fear of making inefficient contributions, or lack of love and plans to end the relationship at some point. In my opinion, being a person who offers reciprocity in a relationship yields better results. Giving brings more happiness than receiving, although it is highly self-respecting to put a stop to abusive or self-interested behavior.

What to do about the crisis of low self-esteem in society

I’ve reflected a lot on this, and I truly believe that the most important thing is always to be aware that this is not about our parents or friends not loving us, but that they too have low self-esteem and insecurities about losing us, and unconsciously feel inferior to us. No one wants to feel inferior to anyone. Even though deep down we truly want the best for the other person. It’s worth noting that all the love and affection we have for the other is separate from our unconscious mechanisms.

Boosting self-esteem is a scarce skill

Even if we don’t want to see it, setting goals and dreams that we can’t achieve in a thousand lifetimes or stepping out of the bubble of cheap challenges is the only solution. It happens to me all the time, but I realize that I have built great self-esteem by making strong and decisive decisions at key moments. We cannot rely on what others tell us.

It sounds cheesy, but following the heart and not what others, social media, or the world say is one of the steps to forging strong self-esteem. I like to remember that conventional wisdom is almost always wrong. Always remember that one of the principles of healthy self-esteem, something scarce today, is not to depend on others’ opinions and to create your own destiny. Easy to say, but only one in 10,000 achieves it.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.